2023 Reflection 2024 Intention

Every year on my birthday, I’ve made it a ritual to ponder over the year gone by, contemplating what lies ahead and the goals I aim to achieve. I’ve always been a journaling enthusiast and have kept a diary since I was 8 years old. However, it is only in the last year that I decided (and dared) to share any of my writing publicly.

Usually, I spend a week or so in introspection, scribbling random thoughts in what I fondly call my ‘junk notebook’ — a place for thoughts I’ll probably never revisit and will eventually discard. But as clarity comes, I commit these thoughts into my fancy notebook, meticulously writing out my reflections into organized words that will be available for me to revisit any time I want.

As I approach my birthday (tomorrow), I am here, clear-headed and geared up for another journey around the sun.

However, 2023 posed as one of the most challenging years since 2017, (the year I departed from my corporate job and embarked on a two-year legal battle to break free from an abusive relationship). So as you can imagine to sudden plunge back into such darkness after years of hard-won mental, physical, and spiritual growth significantly shook my confidence. Yet, in the last few months, I’ve been piecing myself back together, nurturing my confidence and rediscovering my passions. Proudly, I can say today that I now feel stronger than ever, ready to make 2024 my ultimate comeback year.

Being a slow nomad, I aspire to immerse myself in various corners of the world (for now just the country of Mexico) not just as a tourist, but to truly weave myself into different cultures, forge meaningful connections, and find a sense of comfort without actually settling down.

2023 began in Guadalajara (GDL), the city where I connected with many delightful people, both locals and fellow travelers, forming solid friendships and gaining a glimpse of the power of Latin dance, which has now transformed my life.

GDL instilled a sense of seriousness in me, perhaps a facet of big-city life versus the laid-back beach vibe. And the start of 2023 marked a period of upheaval. I struggled with uncertainties about work, wavering on the edge of financial fragility and January began with the deep betrayal of someone I had chosen to deeply trust.

I decided to relocate to Guanajuato, a decision driven by fear, though I didn’t recognize it then. Reflecting now, I realize I was immobilized in stagnant energy, prompting a decision driven by boredom and apprehension. Regrettably, this decision brought in six of the toughest months I’ve faced during my time in Mexico.

It was during this period is when I realized dance had become ingrained in my being. Despite taking only a handful of classes and dancing socially for a few months, the absence of this activity and community was highlighted. Simultaneously, I needed to commit myself to stabilize my finances, channeling 100% of my focus into generating reliable and enjoyable income.

Amidst this turmoil, I discovered invaluable lessons:

• I mastered the art of embracing solitude.
• I rekindled my spiritual side, forging a deep bond with my inner voice.
• I pondered and clarified my life’s true desires.

Let me express that I feel like I’ve acquired a superpower. There’s an extraordinary strength in finding yourself at the lowest point in life with no one available to offer comfort or aid. Embracing those emotions and thoughts, and learning to console oneself, it’s an incredibly empowering journey.

It’s an experience I never wish to go through again, naturally.

However, understanding that I CAN endure it, recognizing that I’ve navigated through the worst and managed to be there for myself, is undeniably a superpower, and I feel this level of confidence within myself now with each new step I take.

August I drove across the country to Xalapa. After a lot of research on where to go next, I focused on finding a strong dance community. And after speaking to a few studios and confirming my research, I finally left the desert and plunged into the rainforest. However, the initial month tested my patience and my confidence took another hit. With the dark and rainy days that never seemed to end, along with the disappointment of my first dance studio experience, I began to question my decision-making abilities.

Independence has been the cornerstone of my life, a trait instilled since childhood and amplified in my adulthood. The confidence to make sound decisions based on available information was never a question until this year when suddenly, uncertainty clouded every judgment.

Fortunately, by the end of August, a friend from Canada visited for a week and was the breath of fresh air I needed. There’s unparalleled comfort in the presence of a friend who has known you for years. Her arrival ignited excitement in my experience, steering me away from my energetic rut. Amidst this camaraderie, I began to fall in love with Xalapa.
5 months later, I can say with confidence, I am IN LOVE with Xalapa!

As I reflected this week I suddenly realized that everything I envisioned and manifested during my darkest days has materialized!!

• A vibrant dance community
• A dance mentor ready to work with me to elevate my dancing skills
• Friendly and kind people
• Nourishing and delicious food and drink experiences
• Exhilarating adventures and explorations
• An invigorating connection with nature

So what is next in 2024?

Well, just yesterday, I confirmed my lease extension until June’s end with my landlord! So it is safe to say I am committed to Xalapa for the next 6 months.

But what does this signify? It’s my commitment to invest FULLY in myself.

2024 I pledge to give 110% to Me.

I want to live presently without thinking of the next step or my next move. I want to focus completely on:

1. Spanish

2. My nourishment and fitness

3. Dancing is #1 and seeing just what I can learn!

4. And investing in some courses to elevate my business and finances.

In 2024 I am remaining open to all possibilities. It’s a time to embrace my passions, savor every moment, and reignite the spark of curiosity within. As I embark on this journey of self-discovery and growth, I aim to radiate positivity, spread kindness, and craft a life that resonates with joy and fulfillment in everything I do.

I want to see what I am truly capable of when I commit so completely to myself.

I look forward to next year's reflections and the inevitable growth.